She doesn't feel the same.....

Dear Granny
I am in love with a woman that has no love for me. How do you get over someone when they just don't feel the same? Please help.
Thanks
Feeling sorry for myself.

Dear feeling sorry for myself,
This is a hard one...omg...I one time years ago was what I thought was love with someone. Thought the sun rose and set with her...wrong. I was looking through rose colored glasses..I did every thing I knew to get her attention...it just wasn't there for her....nothing...until finally one time we went out she slept with me...(now this might be to much information but) I was so excited...I didn't know how to act...but needless to say we end up sleeping together....OMG it was awful...had no idea what she was doing. The worst kisser in the world....pitiful! Why am i telling you this? Because I thought she was all that and a cup of sugar...when the reality was, it was what I made her up to be. WONDERFUL in my own mind....and guess what! She ended up falling for me..and it was horrible breaking it off with her. Point being, be careful for what you ask for or want because you might just get it. Now with all that being said..lets get serious. I love bullet points so I put up a few...I hope they help.

•  Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you. Trust me on this....
• If you love someone as much as you believe you do, you will let them go, be happy, even if it isn't with you. Each person is different when trying to get over someone so there isn't really any way to help, but take it in little steps to get over them. Just remember if they aren't with you they're happy and then can find someone they truely love, the happier they are the happier you are too.
• In my case, I know I deserve better. I tell myself "She isn't worth my love, she's too old/young to realize what he's/she's doing to me so I guess that's that."
• It's not about getting over a person, it's about feeling good about yourself. It's about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy. If this other person doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't really matter.
• This situation is always an unfortunate one. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other the same, and at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, you need patience! you have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If your feelings are real, and you choose to hang in there, you must not scare her away with your feelings! If things are meant to work out, you should be great friends before lovers anyway. While you let both your feelings reach equilibrium, you'll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It's not always important to impress her, or do nice things for her in a loving way. It may give you hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly.
• Tough circumstance - being in love/like with someone who does not feel the same way as you do. It's not a problem - you can fix those, this is almost like "it's raining outside" - just have to deal. Objective advice: If someone doesn't feel the same way as you do - walk off. Don't even give them the privilage of friendship because you'll suck yourself back into the delusion. Do things for yourself, keep busy, bury yourself in work and keep searching for what you really want and need. Don't do what I have done when I was young.
• Remember, love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realise that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. She gave me the strength to realise that I can move on. She gave me the courage to try something different. She gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.
• It is strange when u r hurting from rejection, to hear someone say move on things will be fine. No matter how much u love him, She/He never loves u back. For all those wondering what went wrong Just stop wondering say it really aloud "SHE/He  IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". Only when one stops chasing and pursuing someone who doesn't love you, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love her/him. Trust me on this....
• If you belive in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains, if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That's the power of destiny. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts.
• The older I get, the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love - like me - and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of committment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever? A deep unwillingness to give themselves over to another (aka, selfish)? It is an absolute rock and a hard place. Loving someone who doesn't love/like you back is the most impossible situation imaginable, especially when the love is so strong you are a slave to it. I hope for you its not that far.
• Trying not to be in contact them its almost like an addiction. You think that one little text will do no harm but the pain when she/he doesn't reply will just make things worse. That would be my advice.
• There is one more thing I can recommend. There are times when you feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may have just hurt you again, you don't know why you want to talk to them, you just do. I've been able to get by these weak moments by writing down exactly what I'm feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don't feel to call the person anymore. For everyone out there, keep strong and keep your head up, there are better days ahead. I have loads of journals I keep...write write write..it so works.
• If we know for a fact there is no hope for a mutual like/love, then why torture yourself. Move on. Treat it like a divorce. FORCE yourself to live and keep meeting people. You owe it to yourself to be avaiable for when the right person does come along. Love is like a bus stop, there's always going to be another opportunity for the bus to stop again -- if we are ready for it at the bus stop. Sometimes we don't ever think we could possibly find someone better than that one we are in love with that doesn't return the love back, but that's not true. We just won't be ready to find it if we are pining for a like/love that is not healthy or returned. We owe it to ourselves to always know we deserve what's best and healthy. Stop being around that person if at all possible. If you can't, then think in your mind about how wonderful it would be to actually find someone special that returns your love. Tell yourself that you deserve it. We can't control love no matter how hard we try. It's just one of those things, but we can choose to love again. Work out, write your thoughts on paper and then shred it but sometimes it helps to get your thoughts out of you, in writing. It's like a release or venting.
• Staying busy can help a lot, but late at night, driving down the road, or at times when we can think are hard so blast some music, turn the tv up, read a book, watch a movie, take a night class, spend more time with friends, join an email group with those who share an interest. Read my Blog :) .. whatever, do things to force your mind not to be hurting for that other person. Don't ask yourself why you were not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, sexy enough, etc. Don't beat yourself up over something that didn't work out. If you made mistakes and were responsible for killing it, painful as it is, learn from those mistakes. Don't make them again. We all have had heartaches that hurt bad and it SUCKS! A broken heart is never fun. Life goes on. We have to as well. We owe it to ourselves to know we simply go on. We will meet another person but we shouldn't while we are hurting. We'll often end up not being as clear headed. We want someone to love us and to feel wanted, but that's a potential for another mess. Or, you could end up hurting someone they way you were hurt. When your heart is mended, you'll know. Every single day we get just a tiny bit better. Ok, maybe not every day, but if we can just make it from one day to the next and keep doing it, pretty soon we will feel better, if only a little, but that's a start to total healing.

• Time. Letting yourself grieve and actually being ok with that. Not forcing yourself to get over someone. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, cry, write about it, listen to sad songs. Soon you will feel so tired from hurting all of the time. You will be ready to move forward. Doing this without contact of the person you love is best. Anyone that will still see you, sleep with you, and spend time with you, knowing they don't love you, and knowing how you feel, is selfish. Everyone deserves more than that. You can't force love out of your heart so don't try, that just hurts worse and you end up lying to yourself. You are human for loving, but you have to love yourself more. I do agree with comments on staying busy, friends and family also help. Casual dating can backfire however, because if the dates don't go well, it will just make you miss the person you love even more. Pray, and remember the good times but learn from the bad. Don't you want, one day, to be truly happy? Life is to short to give up the chance of true love for yourself. Go out into the world and continue to be the wonderful person that you are. Someone will see this, and love you just as much as you are capable of loving.
• You accept yourself as you are, love yourself for who you are, forgive yourself for decisions and actions that have brought you pain, never settle for anything less then what you desire and deserve. Love is all about timing, make yourself the best person you can be both mentally and physically and do it for yourself not for some woman. Once you do that, you will no longer waste your time on women who do not see you for who you are. You will see yourself as a beautiful woman that has so much to offer the right woman. But to be able to get over lost love you have to be able to forgive yourself, whether it was your fault or not for the break up. You also must make a concious effort to get her out of your life. Keeping her as a friend will bring only more pain, this is from experience. Let him go, delete his name off your cell phone off your email, put the pictures away. It is your choice to be miserable about the situation, which for the first few months everyone choses to be sad. I chose to be sad for 8 months when the woman I loved hurt me. But you can also make the choice to be happy, but only you can do that. You have one life why sit there and waste it on a woman who can't see all facets of your beauty. You have one life to be happy, love yourself, forgive yourself and you will see that that love will radiate and women will be attracted to that. Good women will be attracted to your postive self worth. And that positive self worth gets rid of all the bagage from past relationships that ruin current ones. But this is a choice, a concious choice to leave the past and be happy and only you can make it. Know it wont be easy, but in the end you will have the love you have always desired.
• Time is the key. When you love someone you must know when it is time to let go. As harrrrrrrd as this may sound, strength, courage and knowledge is gathered from a broken heart. No one promised that love would last forever, nor that it wouldn't, it's just a chance. Life is a chance. Love yourself, pray, not only for you, but for that person as well. Never let bad feelings or experience change the person you are. No one wants a wounded bird, so understand that you need time to heal internally. There is no set time on when this will happen, but just let it take it's course.
• You have no choice but to get over this person... let them go and move on.
  The answer is that there is no remedy or procedure to get over someone completely. It is not as simple as performing a few tasks or reading a certain book. From my experience only time will assist you in getting over a love in your life. Now the trick is this person must me completely out of your life to completely get over him or her. If this person remains in your life then time will never start the healing process. It took me exactly one year to get over someone I loved very much. It can be done, and in life this process can happen more than once, so learn from the mistakes you make in one relationship and apply them to the next.
• The main advice Granny can give, which isn't much at this stage, is FOCUS. That's what you need. For days I was sitting around at home crying and getting stressed, I became depressed, couldn't eat and my dreams were haunted.You never stop loving someone; you just learn to live without them.
• Free your mind from worries. Live simple. Give more. Expect less.
•  Over time you'll go through the different stages of feeling where you get to the point of anger, in that you begin asking yourself, "why am I continuing to beat myself up over someone who clearly isn't interested, if they were, they're not anymore, I've done everything I can to show I'm interested and I keep getting knocked down." You will realize it's not worth it. Life is too short and their are millions of people out there, one who will love you completely, the way you love them. If you made some mistakes in the previous union, you'll know what they are and will do your best to avoid doing them again.
• Under no circumstance have contact with him/her. That means no texts, no face-to-face contact, no email, no social networking, nothing. If you're close friends, just avoid him/her. Next, try to find someone else, not necessarily to replace them, but just so you can have feelings for someone else. Don't have a one-time fling, however. Have a good friend, some good coffee and good conversation.
  Try your best to forget about that person. It may seem hard, but there are ways to forget the person by trying to go out more often with other friends, making a new hobby, or simply just meeting new people. Another good way is to avoid communicating with the person as much as possible - no texting or calling them.
  It is not a problem to allow someone to leave your life... know in your heart YOU are better off! I have learned this and learned self respect as well!  We each have someone out there! KNOW THAT and LOVE YOURSELF!

I hope this has helped honey..I know its tough but maybe some of the above bullets can help..and some not...just know to let go...be yourself...and you will be surprised in such a short time...that Ms. Right might be right around the corner...
Take Grannys advice,
Granny