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Thank you for visiting my Blogger page. I will no longer be updating at this site. Granny's Closet now lives at WordPress. Please click the link below to be redirected to the new site. I look forward to seeing you there. :)

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**Upcoming Changes to Granny's Closet***

Hey All,
This is Granny's Daughter-in-law. We are currently working on some changes to Granny's Closet. We are moving to a WordPress site as it is easier to leave comments and subscribe. We will certainly keep you posted on the move and when the new site will be up and running. Thank you all for reading and even more for your patience!
Sincerely,
GamerMom

Sick and tired of bars.....

Dear Granny

Hello. I'm sick of hanging out with my loser friends who don't respect me. Where can I go and find some real winners to hang out with? My friends always hang out at dive bars and seedy strip clubs. Where can I go to find rich/ successful people to talk to.

Thanks

No mor Barfly

 

Dear NomorBarfly,

I love this question..really I do because we are so on the same page....I do not like bars...maybe once a month just to go out and dance..have some fun. But in Granny's experience, once again this is only my opinion you find the same people on the same bar stools. Same pay check paying for the budget beer for the weekend. Same single people trying to find Ms.Right. Same taken people trying to (sometimes) find someone else because they settled for something because nothing else was around. I understand your feelings a 100%. People that don't respect you? I think you might have to explain that one alittle more so I can answer it.Why don't they respect you? But honey if people don't respect you...my feeling is that you let them. Now in my case ..if you don't respect me your history. Strip clubs...well I can't say I haven't been there...I was. What can I say but...lets see waste of time for me. There's class then there's just plain trash. Is that harsh maybe..but really like I always have said why do you want a ride on a bike that everyone else has had. Here's an example. Cloths...first impression right..you see someone in a classy outfit, and in walks in a trashy out fit. A professional class act will want to meet the classy outfit. The trasy out fit will get the budjet beer for the night. I love relationships. Look at peoples partners and who they choose to be with. Tells alot even better, check out there x's. Tells you there taste. I remember my x saying to me...I love going out every two months to a bar just so I can set and see people look at us and think to themeselfs thats what I want. Sound weird..nope..I knew what she meant.

Anyway..

Seriously I have had good luck, at hotel bars if I have to go to a bar. Why you will find people traveling on business...and I've met some awesome high class folks there, if you have to go to a bar.

Another is a golf club. Sounds funny huh? But its true..lots of business people, even not have to have some $$$ to play and look at the quaility of people there....

Of course I always say church.

I hope this helps....let Granny know how you come out,

Take Grannys advice

Granny

She doesn't feel the same.....

Dear Granny
I am in love with a woman that has no love for me. How do you get over someone when they just don't feel the same? Please help.
Thanks
Feeling sorry for myself.

Dear feeling sorry for myself,
This is a hard one...omg...I one time years ago was what I thought was love with someone. Thought the sun rose and set with her...wrong. I was looking through rose colored glasses..I did every thing I knew to get her attention...it just wasn't there for her....nothing...until finally one time we went out she slept with me...(now this might be to much information but) I was so excited...I didn't know how to act...but needless to say we end up sleeping together....OMG it was awful...had no idea what she was doing. The worst kisser in the world....pitiful! Why am i telling you this? Because I thought she was all that and a cup of sugar...when the reality was, it was what I made her up to be. WONDERFUL in my own mind....and guess what! She ended up falling for me..and it was horrible breaking it off with her. Point being, be careful for what you ask for or want because you might just get it. Now with all that being said..lets get serious. I love bullet points so I put up a few...I hope they help.

•  Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you. Trust me on this....
• If you love someone as much as you believe you do, you will let them go, be happy, even if it isn't with you. Each person is different when trying to get over someone so there isn't really any way to help, but take it in little steps to get over them. Just remember if they aren't with you they're happy and then can find someone they truely love, the happier they are the happier you are too.
• In my case, I know I deserve better. I tell myself "She isn't worth my love, she's too old/young to realize what he's/she's doing to me so I guess that's that."
• It's not about getting over a person, it's about feeling good about yourself. It's about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy. If this other person doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't really matter.
• This situation is always an unfortunate one. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other the same, and at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, you need patience! you have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If your feelings are real, and you choose to hang in there, you must not scare her away with your feelings! If things are meant to work out, you should be great friends before lovers anyway. While you let both your feelings reach equilibrium, you'll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It's not always important to impress her, or do nice things for her in a loving way. It may give you hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly.
• Tough circumstance - being in love/like with someone who does not feel the same way as you do. It's not a problem - you can fix those, this is almost like "it's raining outside" - just have to deal. Objective advice: If someone doesn't feel the same way as you do - walk off. Don't even give them the privilage of friendship because you'll suck yourself back into the delusion. Do things for yourself, keep busy, bury yourself in work and keep searching for what you really want and need. Don't do what I have done when I was young.
• Remember, love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realise that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. She gave me the strength to realise that I can move on. She gave me the courage to try something different. She gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.
• It is strange when u r hurting from rejection, to hear someone say move on things will be fine. No matter how much u love him, She/He never loves u back. For all those wondering what went wrong Just stop wondering say it really aloud "SHE/He  IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". Only when one stops chasing and pursuing someone who doesn't love you, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love her/him. Trust me on this....
• If you belive in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains, if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That's the power of destiny. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts.
• The older I get, the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love - like me - and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of committment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever? A deep unwillingness to give themselves over to another (aka, selfish)? It is an absolute rock and a hard place. Loving someone who doesn't love/like you back is the most impossible situation imaginable, especially when the love is so strong you are a slave to it. I hope for you its not that far.
• Trying not to be in contact them its almost like an addiction. You think that one little text will do no harm but the pain when she/he doesn't reply will just make things worse. That would be my advice.
• There is one more thing I can recommend. There are times when you feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may have just hurt you again, you don't know why you want to talk to them, you just do. I've been able to get by these weak moments by writing down exactly what I'm feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don't feel to call the person anymore. For everyone out there, keep strong and keep your head up, there are better days ahead. I have loads of journals I keep...write write write..it so works.
• If we know for a fact there is no hope for a mutual like/love, then why torture yourself. Move on. Treat it like a divorce. FORCE yourself to live and keep meeting people. You owe it to yourself to be avaiable for when the right person does come along. Love is like a bus stop, there's always going to be another opportunity for the bus to stop again -- if we are ready for it at the bus stop. Sometimes we don't ever think we could possibly find someone better than that one we are in love with that doesn't return the love back, but that's not true. We just won't be ready to find it if we are pining for a like/love that is not healthy or returned. We owe it to ourselves to always know we deserve what's best and healthy. Stop being around that person if at all possible. If you can't, then think in your mind about how wonderful it would be to actually find someone special that returns your love. Tell yourself that you deserve it. We can't control love no matter how hard we try. It's just one of those things, but we can choose to love again. Work out, write your thoughts on paper and then shred it but sometimes it helps to get your thoughts out of you, in writing. It's like a release or venting.
• Staying busy can help a lot, but late at night, driving down the road, or at times when we can think are hard so blast some music, turn the tv up, read a book, watch a movie, take a night class, spend more time with friends, join an email group with those who share an interest. Read my Blog :) .. whatever, do things to force your mind not to be hurting for that other person. Don't ask yourself why you were not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, sexy enough, etc. Don't beat yourself up over something that didn't work out. If you made mistakes and were responsible for killing it, painful as it is, learn from those mistakes. Don't make them again. We all have had heartaches that hurt bad and it SUCKS! A broken heart is never fun. Life goes on. We have to as well. We owe it to ourselves to know we simply go on. We will meet another person but we shouldn't while we are hurting. We'll often end up not being as clear headed. We want someone to love us and to feel wanted, but that's a potential for another mess. Or, you could end up hurting someone they way you were hurt. When your heart is mended, you'll know. Every single day we get just a tiny bit better. Ok, maybe not every day, but if we can just make it from one day to the next and keep doing it, pretty soon we will feel better, if only a little, but that's a start to total healing.

• Time. Letting yourself grieve and actually being ok with that. Not forcing yourself to get over someone. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, cry, write about it, listen to sad songs. Soon you will feel so tired from hurting all of the time. You will be ready to move forward. Doing this without contact of the person you love is best. Anyone that will still see you, sleep with you, and spend time with you, knowing they don't love you, and knowing how you feel, is selfish. Everyone deserves more than that. You can't force love out of your heart so don't try, that just hurts worse and you end up lying to yourself. You are human for loving, but you have to love yourself more. I do agree with comments on staying busy, friends and family also help. Casual dating can backfire however, because if the dates don't go well, it will just make you miss the person you love even more. Pray, and remember the good times but learn from the bad. Don't you want, one day, to be truly happy? Life is to short to give up the chance of true love for yourself. Go out into the world and continue to be the wonderful person that you are. Someone will see this, and love you just as much as you are capable of loving.
• You accept yourself as you are, love yourself for who you are, forgive yourself for decisions and actions that have brought you pain, never settle for anything less then what you desire and deserve. Love is all about timing, make yourself the best person you can be both mentally and physically and do it for yourself not for some woman. Once you do that, you will no longer waste your time on women who do not see you for who you are. You will see yourself as a beautiful woman that has so much to offer the right woman. But to be able to get over lost love you have to be able to forgive yourself, whether it was your fault or not for the break up. You also must make a concious effort to get her out of your life. Keeping her as a friend will bring only more pain, this is from experience. Let him go, delete his name off your cell phone off your email, put the pictures away. It is your choice to be miserable about the situation, which for the first few months everyone choses to be sad. I chose to be sad for 8 months when the woman I loved hurt me. But you can also make the choice to be happy, but only you can do that. You have one life why sit there and waste it on a woman who can't see all facets of your beauty. You have one life to be happy, love yourself, forgive yourself and you will see that that love will radiate and women will be attracted to that. Good women will be attracted to your postive self worth. And that positive self worth gets rid of all the bagage from past relationships that ruin current ones. But this is a choice, a concious choice to leave the past and be happy and only you can make it. Know it wont be easy, but in the end you will have the love you have always desired.
• Time is the key. When you love someone you must know when it is time to let go. As harrrrrrrd as this may sound, strength, courage and knowledge is gathered from a broken heart. No one promised that love would last forever, nor that it wouldn't, it's just a chance. Life is a chance. Love yourself, pray, not only for you, but for that person as well. Never let bad feelings or experience change the person you are. No one wants a wounded bird, so understand that you need time to heal internally. There is no set time on when this will happen, but just let it take it's course.
• You have no choice but to get over this person... let them go and move on.
  The answer is that there is no remedy or procedure to get over someone completely. It is not as simple as performing a few tasks or reading a certain book. From my experience only time will assist you in getting over a love in your life. Now the trick is this person must me completely out of your life to completely get over him or her. If this person remains in your life then time will never start the healing process. It took me exactly one year to get over someone I loved very much. It can be done, and in life this process can happen more than once, so learn from the mistakes you make in one relationship and apply them to the next.
• The main advice Granny can give, which isn't much at this stage, is FOCUS. That's what you need. For days I was sitting around at home crying and getting stressed, I became depressed, couldn't eat and my dreams were haunted.You never stop loving someone; you just learn to live without them.
• Free your mind from worries. Live simple. Give more. Expect less.
•  Over time you'll go through the different stages of feeling where you get to the point of anger, in that you begin asking yourself, "why am I continuing to beat myself up over someone who clearly isn't interested, if they were, they're not anymore, I've done everything I can to show I'm interested and I keep getting knocked down." You will realize it's not worth it. Life is too short and their are millions of people out there, one who will love you completely, the way you love them. If you made some mistakes in the previous union, you'll know what they are and will do your best to avoid doing them again.
• Under no circumstance have contact with him/her. That means no texts, no face-to-face contact, no email, no social networking, nothing. If you're close friends, just avoid him/her. Next, try to find someone else, not necessarily to replace them, but just so you can have feelings for someone else. Don't have a one-time fling, however. Have a good friend, some good coffee and good conversation.
  Try your best to forget about that person. It may seem hard, but there are ways to forget the person by trying to go out more often with other friends, making a new hobby, or simply just meeting new people. Another good way is to avoid communicating with the person as much as possible - no texting or calling them.
  It is not a problem to allow someone to leave your life... know in your heart YOU are better off! I have learned this and learned self respect as well!  We each have someone out there! KNOW THAT and LOVE YOURSELF!

I hope this has helped honey..I know its tough but maybe some of the above bullets can help..and some not...just know to let go...be yourself...and you will be surprised in such a short time...that Ms. Right might be right around the corner...
Take Grannys advice,
Granny

Rainbow Bridge for Killa.... =^..^=

This is for all my readers especially Killa's family, my friends kitty that passed this week. I know the pain of losing one of our babies. When I lost my Rosie I really never thought I would recover. A wonderful friend sent this to me when shepassed.    My turn to pass it on. All my love and prayers go out to you.

                                          THE RAINBOW BRIDGE  

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
 
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
 
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
 
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
 
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

A point of view...

Hi Kiddos,

Now I said I wasn’t going to talk about politics. Well you have to forgive Granny. I saw this today on Facebook and I have to comment.

In Florida they are going to implement drug testing for welfare recipients. Now if you’re like myself and worked every day of your life you’d say heck yeah! I’m not going to pay for a drug habit. If they can afford drugs they can go out and work.  I agree. What is right and what is practical is not always the same thing.

Now I ask you what is going to happen if somebody fails there drug test. Also what happens when they fail to find a job, or get off drugs? Do we let them starve in the streets? Do we take the children of a welfare mom away because she smoked a joint? This country will never go for letting folks wander around the streets in vast numbers. Now some folks will say…but Granny they don’t want to work and I don’t want a cent of my tax money going to help somebody on welfare get high. Fair enough. My counter to that is, what would you rather pay for? See drug test cost money, appeals of drug test cost money, trials cost money. It cost a lot more to house a prisoner each year than pay out welfare benefits. The orphanages are going to be packed and that cost money too.

Also I don’t know about you but I don’t like thinking the government has the right to test me for anything. You start with things like this and it spreads. Like our airports. I remember when you could walk your family member right to the plane. You could also smoke a cigarette on the same plane. Now if I want to fly I’ll get scanned, probed, questioned, and if I lit up a Camel in the john I’m facing a twenty year sentence.

I have a better solution. Why don’t we go ahead and legalize marijuana, heroine, and cocaine? Instead of spending money the state would be collecting money. They could use those same funds to sponsor back to work programs, balance budgets, and pay to help people get off drugs. Also it would allow law enforcement to focus time and effort on death sentence drugs like crack or meth. Why you are at prostitution and gambling need to be legal as well. I disapprove of choices a young lady may make or the consequence of gambling but we live in a free society. The taxpayer waste billions and have prisons overcrowded and law enforcement stretched to fight ‘victimless crimes’. People need to learn to be responsible for their own behavior, the government does not need to tell them. A person’s choices in life should be between them and God.

That’s my two cents sweeties…I’ll do my best to keep it light next time J

Granny

Fairy tales...comment from reader...

Dear Readers,
One of my sweet readers wrote/comment she believes in fairy tales from the glass slipper, to Snow White,  The three bears, and the three little piggys. Some of my favorite stories by the way. I like that...I think that is a possitive attitude...however with that being said....I want to make a comment on fairytales..myself....

Fairytales....
When you keep waiting for the ideal fairy tale situation to arrive, you let a lot of great things pass you by in the process.  The one thing we can’t make more of is time.  Once time has slipped away it is gone and it cannot be recovered. I see that every single day...its a witch getting older!!!! As a friend of mine says..UGH!
I think you have to go out and make the best of every circumstance in your life by investing yourself fully in it.  This is a much better approach than waiting and waiting for the ideal situation that is likely never to arrive.
Instead of continuing to wait for the fairy tale, I say go for it!  Yes, it will likely be messy.  Yes, problems will arise.  Yes, things could get a little scary.  However, the potential payoff is huge!  Once you start really living, all kinds of great things can happen to you.  So, I say dig in, take a chance and you might really live happily ever after well maybe not...but what a ride....:)

Example, I had my fairytale...she was an awesome pilot that reminded me of snow white but tall, butch, and was one of the most incredible people I have ever known...beautiful on the outside as well as in the inside. Thought I was all that and more. Treated me like I was a princess. I'll never forget my son saying Mom our house looks like a funeral parlor..heheh she sent flowers all the time...all the time..because she was flighin all the time....and Phoenix was not her hub. OMG what a woman...I think I had a hot flash just writing this..heheh
My point is in all this....Wait for the best..sure we deserve it but sometimes we don't see the forest for the tree's..and when your waiting to live a fairytale..we don't see that darn red apple in our face when we should have before its to late....broken heart...and we know..that those never mend right.

Reader I love your comment, and keep them coming, but (isn't there always a but?) its only MY opinion...MY thoughts...to each his/her own. I respect your feelings....each and every time...as well as you respect mine.
Take Granny's advice
Granny

Butchcryin Long distant relationships..........OMG not for this Granny

Dear Granny,
I love my woman that lives 1800 miles from me. She has a job I have a job, we both can't leave. How can I live this far with out her every day?  phone bill is killing me. Please help me with this,I like what you say. Please give advice.
Butchcryin456

Dear Butch,

OMG I have done this...have done it..never ever again....

Those of us who've tried can all attest: it's haaaaaard. Simple companionship and connectedness is often the meat and bones of a relationship -- and you still have to prepare yourself for the absence of his or her warmth, smile and all the wonders of non-verbal communication. Have I said yet this is hard????????

Seriously I think the worst is the lonelyness of it all. Even if you talk every single day..24/7 because you don't have that sweet heart right next to you each day...being able to do things you want to do for her each day..this is me...Grannys....opinion...now to what I think I should say..heheheh

Remember this: missing a day (36 hours in my case) does not indicate relationshipial jeopardy. If a phone call gets missed or an e-mail doesn't arrive, do not assume that your darling has run off with the cleaning lady or been hijacked.

Discuss your communication needs and limits. It's likely that one partner will need more communication more than the other. Be prepared to be flexible.

If you want more contact than your partner, try to be less demanding. If you need less, try to be a little more communicative than you might tend to be. Meet in the middle.

For instance, if she wants to talk daily and you don't, perhaps you can commit to sending a one-line loving e-mail each day, just so he knows you're thinking of him.

BRANCH OUT FROM THE PHONE TREE

E-mail is a wonderful invention for separated loved ones and is particularly useful in helping to avoid transferring your IRA directly to AT&T. Honey check into free long distance...I thought everyone had that!

On the other hand, be careful about relying on e-mail to resolve conflicts.

The problem here is that e-mail feels as casual as a phone call, but it's permanent. The words are there in black and white. Tone, intentions and content can all be easily misconstrued.

Just remember: this is a note, not a Talmudic passage to be read and re-read for every hidden nuance, message and subtext. (Being overly analytical can be a real burden here.) If you have an issue to resolve, try to do it over the phone or in person.

To cut down phone costs, try calling your sweetheart when you know he or she won't be in -- and leave a "thinking of you" message on voice mail.

Before Alexander Graham Bell ever was born, people kept in long-distant contact by writing words on a piece of paper, which they then placed into an envelope, affixed a postage stamp (in those days, you had to lick them), and then mailed through the post office. These were called "letters."

You can also send care packages and little gifts, or peruse the selection of sicky sweet cards at your local Hallmark store. Which is Granny's favorite, by the way..every single day......I hope this has helped because I am so not into long distant relationships...how ever with that being said...I had two...it was hard...but have some awful sweet memories...

Let me know how you come out,

Take Grannys Advice

Granny

bethinark951...How can I mend my broken heart....

Dear Granny,
How can I mend my broken heart?
Thanks
Beth

Dear Beth...

Oh my honey that's a hard one....and really I don't think I can give the best advice...but I'll give it a shot.

1. This sounds cliche, but it really works: Make a list of all the things that bothered you about her, about how she mistreated you or didn't fulfill your needs. Also include quotes from friends and family members that are derogatory toward her (that you agree with). Keep this list handy and refer to it often, especially when you feel the urge to call her. Mines on the nightstand...and about 42 other places..hehehe

2.Make another list of all the things you want and need in a relationship. Describe the type of woman you want. Compare the description of your old girlfriend with your description of your ideal woman. If they are very opposite, feel grateful that you are now moving on to a better life. Granny has made a check list on her blog. That might help.

3.Accept that it will take time to get over this breakup. It may be a month, it may be three years. Give yourself time to feel whatever you need to feel. Know that in time, your life will change and you will feel better again.

4.Do not try to contact your ex-girlfriend whatsoever. Now is the time for closure. If you continue to contact him and try to be "friends" with him, you will not heal.

5.Now is the time for extreme self-care. Put yourself top-priority. Take time to cook or buy good food for yourself. Join a gym. Go clothes shopping. Go to the spa for the day, if you can afford it. If not, save up. Do not let yourself engage in any dangerous behavior, such as over drinking, over-partying, or having sex with strangers.until you find a new relationship. Trust me on this one.....

6.Think of this current breakup as a necessary step in your life to lead you to your destiny. You are probably meant to be with someone else. Five years from now you may have a great partner and a couple of cute kids. You will then look back on this time and see that it was a stepping stone toward where you were truly meant to be.

I hope that helps alittle Beth...I know its hard..but you can do it...Let me know how your doing.

Take Granny's advice,

Granny

In Loving Memory

Dear Readers,
I wanted to share with my readers today something that I went through. A dear friend of mine lost her brother at a early age of 52. His funeral was today.  My heart broke looking at his Mom...you could see her heart was bleeding.. so wounded ... She had also lost her husband a month before. We are not supposed to lose our children before its our time to go. I admire the strength of this lady, and she reminded me of my own Mother and wondered where they got there strength from. I pride myself in being a confident, powerful, intelligent, humorous, classy woman. But I don't hold a candle to these ladies.

Also I was able to experience one of the most touching things I have ever seen or heard. The minister asked if anyone would like to say anything. A woman came from the back of the ceremony and stood next to her friend that had passed. It was silent, and took her a moment to speak, you could see that her tears and emotions had built up in her throat. She started talking about her friend, and what a wonderful friend and person he was. But what gave me chills..is she started to cry, and said because they worked together and she was his boss, she could never tell him she loved him. She did love him. He meant the world to her, and because of her job she was unable to tell him. Some people would have taken that in a wrong way.

How sad that made me. We do love people and are afraid to say I love you, because of what they might think or say. Not everyone...has bad intentions..or sexual intentions if they love you....friends are rare. So this Granny for here on in...will be telling every friend I have she loves them. Oh wait...I do, do that.

My point being...I will not live another day that each and everyone I love, if I see them, hug them, or just talk on the phone, there will be a I love you. If anyone takes it the wrong way....tuff. 
    
                                                          Mark this is for you:
Life is but a stoppin place, a pause in what's to be. A resting place along the road, to sweet eternity. We all have different journeys, different paths along the way. We all were meant to learn some things, but never meant to stay...Our destination is a place, far greater than we know. For some the journeys quicker, for some the journey's slow. and when our journey finally ends, we'll calim a great reward. Finding an everlasting peace together with our Lord. Rest our friend, son, brother, and most of all father.

Still believes in you!!!

I really had not thought to answer any mail today. But for some reason I just wanted to make sure that each and every one of you know how much it means to me that you are following me, and reading my blog. It speaks volumes on how you support me. Not to mention the ones that are posting on there own profile..thingy every day. So do I believe in each and everyone of you...oh yeah! Whatever challenges come your way, you can meet them. Whatever obstacles you encounter, you can find your way around. And any roadblocks detours or setbacks along the way are only temporary. You all rock...!!! One kind word. One hug. One smile. That's all it takes to make a difference...and you all did..thank you.
Granny

Janllejjan...Medical Marijuana

Janllejjan....asks
Dear Granny,
What Is Your Opinion On medical Marijuana, Since Arizona Just Passed The Law?

Well let me say this I'm a taxpayer, a grandmother, I've never had a parking ticket. I think I'm a good, law abiding citizen. Now that being said dear...I fully support medical marijuana. In fact I support legalization of marijuana for medicinal and recreational use. I'm a child of the sixties. I think alcohol is far worse. I don't believe anybody should let drugs define them. I think though we are an adults and I can't say that smoking a joint is worse than drinking a six pack.


Seems to me too if we legalized it we'd get tax money rather than spend tax money. I've never understood why this is such a big issue. Also if somebody is sick and dying, if smoking marijuana eases that pain what good Christian person can say that is a bad thing...it's silly if you ask me.


So remember kiddos...Granny says pay your taxes, be good to your fellow man, set an example of yourself...and if you have to light an incense and roll something time to time. Well, just remember moderation and responsibility.

Granny's Healthy Relationship Checklist....you don't want to miss this..

How can gay, lesbian and straights tell if their relationships are healthy? A good way to start is by seeing if they meet eight important criteria on this Granny's healthy relationship checklist.

Respect. Do you feel like your partner respects you? Do you respect your partner? Do you appreciate each other? Does he or she encourage and support you and basically think you are awesome? Do you do it for her?

Support. Speaking of support, that is an important quality all by itself. Does your partner have your back, stick with you when the going gets rough and understand the challenges you are facing? Do you do it for her?

Trust. This one is something that a lot of people overlook, but it's a biggie. While it is normal to get a little jealous sometimes, trusting a partner means that you don't let your own issues overshadow the trust you have in a relationship. Trusting partners aren't always looking for holes in each other's stories, nor do they imagine cheating at every turn.

Honesty. You know that stuff about trust? Well it is a lot easier to be trusting if partners are telling each other the truth. Now that doesn't mean you are on a path to destruction if you pretend to like your gf's ugly new shirt, or compliment your gal's cooking when it stinks. But in honest relationships, partners don't need to lie about things like where they've been, and who they are hanging out with.

Equality. Relationships should be a balance where both people have an equal say. One person doesn't always get to pick the movie, hang out with their group of friends or generally make all the decisions. Plus, in equal relationships, one person doesn't "win" all the fights or blame the other person for every problem that arises.

Independence. You know those couples who do EVERYTHING together? That might seem kind of cute for a while, but really one of the ways to have a successful relationship is to be allowed and encouraged to grow in new directions with the support of your partner. That doesn't mean that a boyfriend or girlfriend can't turn you on to new things. But it also means that you have the freedom to try out things that your partner has no interest in--say interpretive dance, horror movies, or volunteering.

Communication. Can you tell your partner when something is upsetting you? Do you feel like your fights are fair? What about when things are going well, do you talk openly about your lives, laugh and cry together? The ability to communicate about the good times and bad in a relationship will help strengthen your bond and ensure you are on more solid footing when tough issues come up. Or she you?

Compatibility. Does your partner "get" you? Do you like spending time with each other? Do have any shared interests? It's important not to forget the "friend" part of boyfriend and girlfriend! Or you her?

While dating can be hard for anyone, there are specific challenges for gays. One of the biggest issues is the simple fact that meeting other gays is no easy feat in a lot of places. As a result, gays might find themselves "settling" for a partner that isn't really good for them. If you think that might be happening to you, consider what you are getting from your relationship and if it is really worth it. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship with trust, communication, support, honesty, respect, equality, independence and compatibility, and gays   are no exception.


These are Grannys most important eight. Each day I see that I am not sticking to my checklist myself. I find myself wondering and thinking about the moment..that only lasts a moment...that sometimes really is just an illusion....A very very good friend of mine about eight months ago said to me..."you really like the bad boys". I found that strange when she said that because I always thought I checked my checklist.....so what do I end up with? 20 minute greet and meets...awful dates...I learned people are so interested in themselves they can't enjoy the pleasure of others conversations or experiences. Back to my own advice...check my checklist.

What I am most happy about that saves me? I don't do relationships. I have had three...and jealousy is usually the down fall on their point not mine. I don't settle...so usually if they don't meet the above eight..I am so long gone. Now I'm not crazy ether..(well maybe a little)..because there are many of the ...one nighters..one weekers...or one monthers I amuse myself with.  Does that sound bad?...maybe..but the point here is it works for me. (and all of you that think sex is involved think again...I despise a woman that are like  bikes...that everyone has had a ride on. Or lizben's that go from one member of a group to another. There's class and theres just bad taste. Key word, they settle..

So with all the info above...if I would have one wish...I would have you make your own list. Check it...you are so special and deserve to have the best...and some times, just some times it just takes a long time to find thats pecial person...but its so worth the wait. Also don't have blinders on, she or he could be right in front of you. I lost that once, won't happen again.

Take Grannys advice
Granny

allamericanbutch357.....enough..giving...

Dear Granny,
How do you feel about our country today? I'm sick of the bullshit that's going on. I think America should mind there own business and stay out of other countries.

Dear Allamericanbutch357,
Sweetie I learned long ago...I don't talk to politics or religon. Doesn't help the mood...or sometimes..the relationship. But with that being said...

I this one time will make a little comment (on politics anyways)....

I believe in common sense and personal freedom. I think there are a lot of people who want to do our Nation harm and we have to fight against it. That being said, we need to stay out of other people's business and take care of our own first. We owe China trillions, we have an immigration problem, we have an economic problem. I'm not happy with President Obama, and some of his decisions as well.

One thing I know about this country. We are a country of survivors, we are going through a tough time right now, but history shows we'll get through it. We are also a diverse nation of many background and cultures which have come together to make this the best place in the world. In my opinion America for all it's flaws is full of the greatest and brightest people in the planet. The 'soul' of this Nation is a good one with high aspirations to liberty and freedom. So, though I'm not happy about our government right now, I love our country and I'm sure the United States of America will go on to be force of good in the world.

Noswimforme789......I can't wear a bathing suit

Dear Granny,
The hot weather is coming and I feel horrible about my body. I'm heavy and don't feel as though I should or even could get in a bathing suit. Maybe a tent. I'm 26 and don't take care of myself. The problem is I want to go so bad to a pool party. There is a woman there I want to get to know. If she could get to know me I think she would like me. What can I do so I don't feel so uncomfortable?

Dear Noswimforme789,
Well honey don't go swimming, just go and visit.
Seriously ...why care what other people say about how you look? I am very vain, trust me on this. I need to have all hairs (grey included) in place. Do I care what people think of how I look in my suit, proably, but I don't like me in a suit....and when I'm not comfortable...I don't have a good time...so I don't think I have really good advice here. But what I would do is go to the party...whats the worst thing that can happen?? they throw you in the pool..and no worries about a suit then. Wear a pair of shorts, cute top, and sandles. Go enjoy your self...and noswimforme, guess what...everyone else will be worried about how they look and really honey won't be paying attention on your suit. So go, talk to the woman you like, and who knows...I might have helped on this get together with you to....love playing cupid!!!!!
Take Grannys advice,
Granny

Marrymetoday822.....she hits me....

Dear Granny,
My Mom and Dad are very supportive of my life style. They are always encouraging me to be myself. There is only one problem. They hate my partner Ester. They used to like her but we got in a fight and she gave me a black eye, and busted my lip. They just can't forgive her. I did why can't they? She's a drinker and she has stress with her job at Home Depot. She said her stress level built up, and as she said I did fight with her and she lost her temper maybe it was my fault. She said it would never ever happen again. I believe her, why can't they? Don't suggest family therapy my partner won't go she said she has it under control.
Needs advice,
Marrymetoday822

Dear Marrymetoday822,
Darlin, I hope the second part of the busted lip and black eye story is that you picked up a iron fryin pan and knocked the bitch out, spit in her face, kicked her ass, crammed the fryin pan up her ass, and wrote in permanet pen LOSER accrossed her face and kicked her to the curb.......

Seriously sweetie your Mom and Dad are right. I know you don't want to hear that but they love you, support you in your gay life style which is huge by itself, but most of all want you to be safe.
Love sucks sometimes doesn't it? But theres nothing about love when you hit, or verbally abuse someone. Trust me I'm no expert but my thought is when someone hits or verbally abuses someone its about themselves that they are loathing...
Honey someone that hits, needs help, saying under control, or never will happen is not gonna make it here...they do need help and guess what..you are not the one to give it...
So my advice..and remember..(Im no expert) go to your parents house. (safe enviorment) and call your partner ...with this message:
"I love us enough to want to make things right. But right now I want you and want you to want to get some help with your anger issues. I'm placing a restraining order out. Not that I want to but just for our saftey. But we need to be apart....so we can work on being together."
I'd like to see you marrymetoday look into some group therapy abuse programs. There are lesbian groups for domestic abuse also and safe houses. You might feel better about going to those. Lots of good information on web sites. I have included sites and groups on my personal email to you.
Marrytoday, each day know that you are loved and love is not hitting. ...I would drop her like a lead balloon..buts that's granny. Let me know how you come out...and if you need me....just let me know.
Take Grannys advice,
Granny