Granny's Healthy Relationship Checklist....you don't want to miss this..

How can gay, lesbian and straights tell if their relationships are healthy? A good way to start is by seeing if they meet eight important criteria on this Granny's healthy relationship checklist.

Respect. Do you feel like your partner respects you? Do you respect your partner? Do you appreciate each other? Does he or she encourage and support you and basically think you are awesome? Do you do it for her?

Support. Speaking of support, that is an important quality all by itself. Does your partner have your back, stick with you when the going gets rough and understand the challenges you are facing? Do you do it for her?

Trust. This one is something that a lot of people overlook, but it's a biggie. While it is normal to get a little jealous sometimes, trusting a partner means that you don't let your own issues overshadow the trust you have in a relationship. Trusting partners aren't always looking for holes in each other's stories, nor do they imagine cheating at every turn.

Honesty. You know that stuff about trust? Well it is a lot easier to be trusting if partners are telling each other the truth. Now that doesn't mean you are on a path to destruction if you pretend to like your gf's ugly new shirt, or compliment your gal's cooking when it stinks. But in honest relationships, partners don't need to lie about things like where they've been, and who they are hanging out with.

Equality. Relationships should be a balance where both people have an equal say. One person doesn't always get to pick the movie, hang out with their group of friends or generally make all the decisions. Plus, in equal relationships, one person doesn't "win" all the fights or blame the other person for every problem that arises.

Independence. You know those couples who do EVERYTHING together? That might seem kind of cute for a while, but really one of the ways to have a successful relationship is to be allowed and encouraged to grow in new directions with the support of your partner. That doesn't mean that a boyfriend or girlfriend can't turn you on to new things. But it also means that you have the freedom to try out things that your partner has no interest in--say interpretive dance, horror movies, or volunteering.

Communication. Can you tell your partner when something is upsetting you? Do you feel like your fights are fair? What about when things are going well, do you talk openly about your lives, laugh and cry together? The ability to communicate about the good times and bad in a relationship will help strengthen your bond and ensure you are on more solid footing when tough issues come up. Or she you?

Compatibility. Does your partner "get" you? Do you like spending time with each other? Do have any shared interests? It's important not to forget the "friend" part of boyfriend and girlfriend! Or you her?

While dating can be hard for anyone, there are specific challenges for gays. One of the biggest issues is the simple fact that meeting other gays is no easy feat in a lot of places. As a result, gays might find themselves "settling" for a partner that isn't really good for them. If you think that might be happening to you, consider what you are getting from your relationship and if it is really worth it. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship with trust, communication, support, honesty, respect, equality, independence and compatibility, and gays   are no exception.


These are Grannys most important eight. Each day I see that I am not sticking to my checklist myself. I find myself wondering and thinking about the moment..that only lasts a moment...that sometimes really is just an illusion....A very very good friend of mine about eight months ago said to me..."you really like the bad boys". I found that strange when she said that because I always thought I checked my checklist.....so what do I end up with? 20 minute greet and meets...awful dates...I learned people are so interested in themselves they can't enjoy the pleasure of others conversations or experiences. Back to my own advice...check my checklist.

What I am most happy about that saves me? I don't do relationships. I have had three...and jealousy is usually the down fall on their point not mine. I don't settle...so usually if they don't meet the above eight..I am so long gone. Now I'm not crazy ether..(well maybe a little)..because there are many of the ...one nighters..one weekers...or one monthers I amuse myself with.  Does that sound bad?...maybe..but the point here is it works for me. (and all of you that think sex is involved think again...I despise a woman that are like  bikes...that everyone has had a ride on. Or lizben's that go from one member of a group to another. There's class and theres just bad taste. Key word, they settle..

So with all the info above...if I would have one wish...I would have you make your own list. Check it...you are so special and deserve to have the best...and some times, just some times it just takes a long time to find thats pecial person...but its so worth the wait. Also don't have blinders on, she or he could be right in front of you. I lost that once, won't happen again.

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Granny